Thank you for sharing the slideshow, Dr. Chwistek.
I often wonder why many physicians I’ve seen seem to lack empathy. Particularly the docs who have blown me off completely. I’ve learned that the doctor-patient communication success is all on me.
If I let anxiety or other emotions overwhelm me, a doctor isn’t going to reel me in – he/she will assume I am labile, depressed, faking or all three. They don’t take the time to think what it must be like to be chronically ill. To go to appointments expecting answers and respect and leaving with questions and diminished dignity. It’s such a let down. Anticipating that potential letdown is the worst.
One February 18, 2010, National Public Radio reported The Cleveland Clinic is hoping to increase empathy among its physicians. “Studies have shown that doctors who are more empathic are less likely to face malpractice lawsuits and more likely to have patients that comply with their treatments.”
Is that the goal of empathy? Decreased lawsuits and more compliant patients? Sheesh.
Empathy is an important patient-physician communication that many doctors seem to lack even when their patient’s seem to ask for it, according to a 09/22/08 study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine.
Researchers say that empathy, like other emotions such as guilt, is not something that matures on its own—it must be learned.
I’ve read of several initiatives where theater professionals and students, even at my Alma Mater, are trying to help physicians learn empathy “techniques” such as those being conducted by a pilot study by a Virginia Commonwealth University research team.
Tonight at the dinner table, my husband and I joked about the year of my childhood when I was given $4 by my parents to walk up to the store alone and buy my own birthday cake. The only thing available for $4 was an Entemann’s coffee cake and that’s what I bought. I don’t recall any birthday cakes for me after that time until I was an adult on my own.
My son, being young, didn’t know what we were talking about so I summarized, “When I was a little girl, my mommy and daddy didn’t get me a birthday cake.” My son looked immediately sad. “Don’t worry, honey, me and Daddy will always make sure you have a birthday cake.” He hugged on to me so tightly. “It was so mean that you didn’t get a cake,” he said. And he cried a few tears. “It’s okay, honey. I get cakes now. Don’t worry.” It took him a few minutes to calm down. He held my hand. I kissed his forehead.
My five year-old child learned empathy today.
It wasn’t my intention at all. I tend to joke about my childhood. My son put himself in Little Queen’s shoes. I hope we can continue to teach him empathy. He wants to be a doctor when he grows up. Right now he is interested in neurosurgery.
Perhaps there is a lesson for patients in this post as well. When I shared the sad fact honestly, succinctly, and confidently, I received unexpected empathy.
As usual, I welcome your comments.
Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: | doctor patient relationship, empathy, undiagnosed chronic illness
I think I just had the same reaction as your son. I’d give you a hug if I could.
Ohhh, thanks, Laura. I appreciate the hugs for sure. I’m a hugger!
I believe I’ve mostly healed from the cake thing and other childhood things so they don’t faze me too much. I apologize for making you (and my son) sad by bringing it up.
Nah, I sure don’t need an apology. I’m not one of those sparkly sunshiney rainbow people – I think optimism is good, and that sometimes grinning and bearing it (literally) is the only thing you can do to keep sane, but some things just suck. Not having a birthday cake when you’re a kid is one of them. Being a medical puzzle is another. You owe no apologies.
*hughughug*
I grew up dreading birthdays because bad things always seemed to happen on my birthday, from things like our basement flooding to my mother attempting suicide to my dad saying he wasn’t going to come to my bat mitzvah because praying gave him headaches. I think that’s why for me, just having a calm birthday with no melodrama is the best gift my husband and daughter can give me.
Humor can be a defense, a way of keeping bad things at arm’s length. And I think that if it works for you, it’s a Good Thing. But I’m so happy for you that you have such a sweet little boy, who can put himself in another’s shoes. And he’s a lucky kid to have you for a mom!!
I’ve also found empathy to be in short supply. While it would be great to evolve the medical establishment in the direction of greater empathy, in the here and now I believe we as patients must just stop expecting it. I’ve decided it is very important to a) not let doctors intimidate me and b) to treat them as technicians who have expertise that can help me. I make sure to ask the followup questions I need to ask and I insist on making sure they take my point of view into account, but I’ve given up on that desire I’ve had in the past to feel as though they actually care about me as a person. In a world of very busy doctors I suspect it’s just not possible – at least not often enough that we can count on it!
I’m really glad you wrote this post. A large part of the reason I wanted to go back to medical school is because I have felt the lack of empathy also. Personally, I usually don’t like doctors and I go to Nurse Practitioners if at all possible (*wonderful* btw).
Nobody seems to really want to talk about it, and I can tell you that I have seen the arrogant, ‘don’t have time for patients (who are just diagnoses anyway) attitude’ cultivated in med students. It makes me sick, but when I say anything to that effect I’M being offensive instead of honest.
Well, this post reminds of the truth THANK YOU. I will continue to call MD’s on their (not all of them but MANY DO have) nasty attitudes and do my darndest to be the most empathetic and caring Doc that I can be. Good luck to you as you continue on your journey. I’ll be reading.
Oh yes, and I have heard the ‘be nice to your patients – *so they don’t sue you*’ speech at least three times now. Once in class and twice in clinicals. Luckily my head has not exploded…yet.