My melancholy mood is not inspiring me to work on my art
A visual of my melon-choly. heehee
(nanowrimo novel). More proof that I am not, in any way, an artist.
A visual of my melon-choly. heehee
I lie here with a deep fatigue. Busy work week, two nights of working until 7pm and one night of volunteering for the PTA until after 7pm. I lie here with my leg thing. It’s painful, I limp when walking, and have limited foot dorsiflexion. I lie here planning out my weekend to include little to no going up and down stairs and as little walking as possible.
It’s been nearly 4 months since my muscle biopsy and I still have no answers. My PCP doesn’t know who to send me to about having atrophic fibers both I and II. My ENT suggests going back to Neurologist #1 and I did make an appointment for December. Though, I am pessimistic about it. I’m not sure how she will respond considering all that has happened since she blamed my thyroid and sent me on my way.
I saw Dr. PCP this week. Huh hum. I have something I prefer not to discuss with anyone but will because I only finally mentioned it based on things I read at Dr. Rob’s blog and Dr. D’s blog. I’ve had hemorrhoids for the past 3 months that don’t do away with OTC treatment. I’ve seen Dr. PCP plenty of times during those 3 months but didn’t mention. Turns out they are severe and my internal skin is severely inflamed. Dr. PCP says they could be related to my other problems. I have a hem treatment kit that my friendly neighborhood pharmacist demonstrated to me while mentioning anus and rectum far more often than I needed. he also asked about the size of the affected area. I still wonder if he was messing with me.
So here I am. No known reason for the atrophic fibers, no physical activity, no treatment, and no real plan.
Dr. PCP said, “I want to call House and say ‘I know you’re not a real doctor but I need help here.” If only there was somebody, anybody out there she could call who would take an interest in getting me treatment.
I also got blood drawn for globulin, the only blood test not yet explored though I imagine that sub specialists have the larger repertoire needed for a puzzle like me.
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LOVE the visual of your melon-choly.
Where do you find these great pics??
I so want to find a magic wand that I can wave over you and heal you. (Right after I wave it over me to heal me — after all, I need to be in better condition to fly out to wave it over you!
I’ve been going through a similar spell of hopelessness. I think that’s why I stopped blogging for awhile. And I’ve let my friendships fall by the wayside because I can’t seem to motivate myself to reach out anymore, can’t pick up the phone.
In some ways, I think it’s totally normal for people like us to feel like we do. We’re in impossible situations, trying desperately to find a diagnosis that makes sense and will allow us to heal.
For me, I begged an appointment with my PCP for Monday. (Her next real opening wasn’t for two more weeks.) I think I need to up my anti-depressants, even though I know my depression is all situational — caused by the stupid mystery illness. Sigh.
I don’t know how you’re managing to do so much! That sounded like a killer week for anyone, even fully healthy ones. Is there any way you can cut back? Save more of your energy to spend with your family?
*hughughug*
I’m glad you’re getting your IGG levels tested. You need to test IGA, IGM, IGG and IGG subclasses. Hope you get some rest & feel better.
Sharon