I feel like I’m running in circles. The key word here is feel – I don’t have the physical ability to run right now.
I quit. I give up.
Clearly, sporting the Patron Saint of Optimism pendant isn’t having the impact I expected. Can I keep believing there will be a better day?

I got fitted for a brace that will be something like this. I was told I'll need to buy new shoes. Not pretty ones, either.
After waiting several weeks for an appointment, I finally saw the Physical medicine doctor, a physiatrist named Dr. A. Dr. A. was recommended by my physical therapist for her ability to diagnose neuromuscular and other conditions. The appointment with Dr. A. was largely uneventful. She did what has now become standard protocol – check: reflexes, babinski, foot drop, strength, spasticity, my gait and pushed on me and asked me if it hurt and if I felt anything.
A contradiction of my other appointments. Here’s her take:
My foot drop is severe enough that I need a foot brace so I don’t fall down and crack my head or break my hip. (I was told no, no, no to a brace before)
My EMG results might not be accurate because it is a subjective test. (never told that before)
It’s all autoimmune rather than neurological/neuromuscular. (Huh??)
I asked, “What could it be? What’s left to test for?”
She already said it probably wasn’t MS because I didn’t show any lesions on my MRIs. Not Myasthenia Gravis because I tested negative for the acetylcholine antibodies. It’s not Lupus or another rheumatological problem because I tested negative for everything except having a positive ANA and “that doesn’t mean much.” What is left???
Her only explanation was that maybe I don’t have certain typical signs of a particular autoimmune disease like how I have Hashimoto’s without the antibodies. She gave me no other clues.
I’m going to be on a different steroid pack and I have to keep a pain journal. I go back in 3 weeks when I might get a muscle biopsy and an EMG repeated. “We’ll figure it out, ” Dr. A. said.
I’ve heard that before.
Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: | autoimmune, EMG, foot drop, health, neuromuscular, pain journal, patient, physiatrist

